Bullying: How To Help Your Child

Image credit: Eddie S

In past generations, bullying was considered as part of childhood. Today bullying is recognized as a serious problem. Since childhood bullying can have lifelong consequences, it is imperative that you help your child cope. A child should never be expected to “just deal with it.”

Any child can be bullied, but the kids who are most commonly bullied are kids who are shy, timid, and have few friends. There are many types of bullying. Physical bullying includes hitting, kicking and destruction of the child’s property, such as spilling his milk over his lunch or ruining his clothes. Verbal bullying may include teasing, name-calling and spreading rumors. Cyberbullying includes harassing emails, spreading gossip through emails and blogs, and sometimes threats.

Since it’s vital that you help your child, but he may not necessarily tell you he’s being bullied, it’s important to recognize the following warning signs: children who are bullied may be afraid to go to school. They may suffer headaches or stomachaches, have trouble sleeping or lose their appetite. They may have unexplained bruises or injuries and damaged or missing personal belongings. In the long term, bullying could lead to depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem and in extreme cases to suicidal thoughts. Many adults who suffered bullying as children never fully recover from the psychological damage.

If you suspect that your child is being bullied, it’s important that you intervene as early as possible. Encourage her to talk with you. Listen calmly, show her that you understand and make it very clear that being bullied is not her fault. Assure her that together, you can take care of this problem.

Encourage your child to be assertive. He should not “fight back”. Instead, he needs to calmly say “leave me alone” and walk away. He may be safer if he stays with a group. If he’s alone, he should try to identify friendly people who may offer him safety. If nothing works, he should ask teachers for help.

Once you get all the details from your child, you should immediately contact the teacher and the school principle. If your child has been physically attacked or threatened, consider filing a police report. Don’t contact the bully’s parents yourself. School officials or the police should do it.

It’s a good idea to enroll your child in after-school activities that would build her self-esteem, such as sports. It’s also important to help her develop friendships by inviting friends over for play dates and encouraging her to reach out to friendly children at school.

Sometimes, if serious damage to your child’s self-esteem has already been done, you will need to get professional help.

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